A few lessons I've learned from my sons...
If you’re a parent of small children (especially during the 20/21 COVID time) You’ve been frustrated with your littles. The constant interruptions, “mommy” on repeat, or just every time you try to work or get on a phone call it’s as if they have an automatic GET SUPER NAUGHTY go off and they act up just for you:)
It is a constant balancing act for me to be both a present and amazing mom AND have my work that I find purpose and passion in beyond being a Mom (both are so important!) This post is in honor of our children for us parents to take a moment and remember…” what’s really important right now.” NOW. NOW….
A Few things my sons continue to teach me every day (and believe me, I need lots of reminders!)
Slow down and be present!
I remember reading Eckhart Tolle’s book ‘A New Earth’ before my first son was born. It really resonated with me and I knew I needed to actively practice how to be more ‘present’ in each moment of my life. I know the theory but sometimes it’s not always that easy, my head is spinning with to do’s, worries, future and past events and I have to catch myself in the act - but when I am really ‘in the moment’ life is so much more….well, it is so much more everything!
There are so many books and teachers that write about this topic but I have learned far, far more about living life to the fullest in each moment from my sons.
Children are absolutely PRESENT.
They aren’t thinking about anything except what they are doing right now. When they want me to play with them - they are asking me to pay attention to them fully and that moment is really all that really matters.
They do NOT care about what I buy for them…or all of the classes I enroll them in - they just want quality time with their loved ones and that is where they learn some of the most important things in life...like love, kindness, sharing, patience (we’re trying very hard with this one!) and the list goes on and on and on...
Take in the beauty around me more often!
My children stop every time we walk by rosemary or lavender bush. They pull on the bushes, stop to feel it, gives it a big whiff, and always want me to do the same. We showed my oldest these once on a walk and now every single time he walks by them he is just as fascinated as he was the first time.
There are so many opportunities for us to really take in our surroundings and enjoy the beauty, the smells, and the sounds around us yet we often walk right by the perfection of a tree and its leaves blowing in the wind or a bee buzzing from flower to flower and we don’t even notice. I have found myself on a walk with my son and wanting him to hurry up as he stops and touches rocks, runs up and down a small slope in the path and laughs as he discovers something new. He constantly reminds me to take in the world through his eyes and that sometimes it’s way more important to walk with him at his pace enjoying the nature and beauty around us. If you only get a hundred yards down the street in twenty minutes who really cares? My son has broken life down into tiny and seemingly insignificant moments of observations and discoveries in his walks. I dismiss them so easily with a “come on, let’s go” because I have other plans for our day.
No, it’s not always possible to look at the veins of a leaf for more than a minute and sometimes we do “have to go”, but at the very least I can stop and acknowledge the importance of what we are doing together and the oh so important lessons that my boys may be learning. Remember that your children have as many lessons to teach you as you have for them.
Stay Curious!
I have had days where I catch myself saying ‘No’ to my sons over and over and over again. “Don’t touch this”, “Don’t do that”. I get sick of hearing myself say it and you know what, sometimes I need to just let it go.
Of course, I don’t want them to do anything that would be unsafe (like open the knife drawer or play with the oven) but taking pots and pans out, discovering the noise they can make and banging them like a drum….it might be a bit loud but is it doing any harm? It is a new discovery for him and he is loving it! Why do I need to take that away? It is a good reminder to me that children are curious and we need to nurture their curiosity. Curiosity is important for every single one of us. In fact, curiosity enhances our learning and memory!
Look up more! When did we stop looking up at the clouds, look at the airplane flying high above, watch the birds overhead?? My boys get so excited to see an airplane flying overhead, to watch a squirrel jumping from tree to tree, and birds chirping in the trees, or a neighborhood cat in our yard. It is through their eyes that I have started to look up more instead of just straight ahead (or at my phone!) I remember as a child lying on the grass and just watch the clouds go by - did you used to look up and see different things in the clouds?
When was the last time you did that?
Playing is for all of us and we all need to do it more often!
I could write so much on the topic of play alone. I believe we all need to play more in life! Isn’t it funny that we can go to the playground with our children and they will run, sweat, climb, swing, just to have fun and we do the same thing and we call it ‘working out’. The difference is just their perspective! Playing can mean so many things but really it’s just doing something with no end goal in mind - just to have fun!
Laughter really is the best medicine! Listening to my boys laugh is the best sound in the entire world. It doesn’t take much for them to laugh either. They remind me to lighten up and reminds me of how good it feels to have a giggle! Laughter really is good for us too - it naturally reduces our stress hormones and releases endorphins which make us feel good all over.
Turn off the Phone/Computer/Ipad. Sometimes I just need to get off the phone/computer/ipad and just be with my boys. I drive myself crazy with this balance - this is one of the challenges of working from home! But, this time with my children is so incredibly precious and will be over in a blink of an eye. Of course there are times when I need to focus on what I am doing and it is always good for them to play by themselves ….but there are certainly lots of times where I am not doing anything of any significance or perhaps the phone can just wait...I have to continually remind myself…
what is really important right now? My sons, my husband, my time with my family...almost always wins!
Life is so much richer since it shifted from ‘all about me’ to focusing on my children! It is funny to look back on my life ‘pre baby’ and realize that so many of my worries about ‘my life’ just seem so ridiculous and frivolous now. I am so happy that he has shifted my energy away from my own life and into a space of giving to others...you get so much more in return. Have you ever noticed yourself consumed by something going on with you and then a friend has needed your help or you see a stranger in need (like just needing help walking across the street)? Have you noticed how that all-consuming thought doesn’t seem to hold the same weight anymore?! We all feel better when we give to others because we always get far more in return. This is 100 fold with our children.
FUN is a Priority! To dance, sing, and be silly anytime, anywhere, and in front of anyone! Even though I probably use to get embarrassed doing silly things in front of others it is so much fun and easier to dance, sing and be really really silly without caring what anyone thinks about you.
And the list goes on and on and on…..what would you add?? I’d love to hear
